“The last time I did a dance solo I was 14 years old, my routine didn't go as planned & I was in tears after. I would like to show my 14 year old self that it doesn't matter if you muck up, enjoy it & be confident in yourself.” - Amia Sparkles
Read MoreOn the weekend I hosted an Instagram Live tutorial talking all things burlesque on a budget. I know a lot of you asked for resources , shopping and tutorials. So I’ve included all my best ideas in the one blog post.
Read MoreLast night I had the pleasure of hosting Alyssa Kitt on my Facebook page to lead our community through a fabulous online workshop - Feeling Down? Feel Yourself!
Alyssa took us all through a guided discussion and flow class, so that we can reconnect with our bodies and think about strategies to help us get a quick mood booster.
She’s also kindly shared a quick recap of her top tips for quickly feeling yourself and picking yourself up:
Getting disenchanted and loosing some love for burlesque is really normal. Many performers have mini 'breaks' in their career. Taking some tips and time for self reflection and compassion for yourself is really important if you want to set yourself up for long term success!
Read MoreThe mental health, social, and work life balance have all improved dramatically. Switching off that inner voice and telling it to calm down, has completely shifted my attitude to burlesque itself. I'm more focused on acts that inspire me and delight me, and that I want to work on and build.
Read MoreReally if you want definitive Tease Tips, you need to follow Michelle L'amour. Her daily tips and occasional videos are the absolute bomb!
But there's a lot of little things you can do to really engage with your audience. Try them out and see what works!
How do you go from being a "newbie" to a more established performer. At what point do you stop being new?
Performers can find it hard to know when they aren't a 'newbie' anymore. Or how they can jump out of the 'newbie' category into a bigger pond.
There's no one right or clear pathway. It's not like you can get a promotion instantly in the burlesque industry. Or that you graduate from 'newbie' after meeting a sales target or gaining a qualification. There's a blurry line as you move throughout your career.
Take some tips from Grace Cherry about the transition from ‘newbie’ to a more established artist.
Read MoreIn many ways I actually hate the term 'confidence'. Because really you can be a great performer and not always be that confident. But you must be resilient to lots of external obstacles that often are out of your control. Here is some tough, but practical advice to getting out of a funk or getting that mojo back.
Disclaimer: This is, of course, not a substitute for proper health advice. If you really are anxious, depressed or having more serious problems have a check in with your GP. There's also Beyond Blue and Black Dog in Australia that are really helpful.
Take some ownership of your behaviour. What are you willing to do to take ownership of your problems? Complaining that you don't feel confident isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to identify your issues and set some steps to solve them. This is said with a lot of love and recognition that this is hard. But you wouldn’t go the gym for a session and expect to lose 10 kilos. You can’t equally do one burlesque class and be instantly more confident. But if you can address each problem bit by bit you will get there.
Having a critical mindset is okay. Not being 100% confident all the time is important, because it stops you doing crazy risk taking behaviour. It's about managing the balance. Some self doubt is fine, It’s only when it consistently becomes a problem or stops you from doing things that you want to do.
Saying that you have doubts or lack confidence is a generic statement. If you want to solve your issue, you need to work out what specifically is scaring you. Is it a physical obstacle? About technical skill? Or is it worrying about what people think about you? Once you have figured that out you can solve it. You aren't getting yourself into a cycle of crazy scary thoughts. You are just saying, "I'm really scared about what someone will say about me". A reasonable fear to be sure. But by naming it up, you can then work on solving it.
It’s hard to accept stuff you don’t control. One of the things I hear constantly from new performers and students that stands in their way is a fear of what the audience will think about them. You have basically zero control over that. So it's pointless circling through that in your mind. Accepting the things that are outside of your control is the first step in building your confidence, and stopping that cycle of talking negative shit about yourself.
Remember that we wouldn't let our friends talk the same amount of smack that we talk about ourselves. It's not helping you to constantly talk shit about yourself. It's not getting you to the goal of being a better performer. It's normal, sure. But not helpful. Make a commitment to changing it up. You might need some strategies to address this. It could be a mindfulness app, proper counselling or therapy, or having a walk or chat with a friend. But commit to changing your cycle of negative self talk.
If you are worried about your abilities or your competence as a performer, you can totally solve that problem! But equally, if you haven't performed for a while or you are a newer performer, it's really unlikely you are going to be Dita Von Teese overnight. That's not a realistic expectation. So set yourself a standard that you can meet to be a good performer at the level you are at now. And then set some goals for how you are going to get there. This might be:
20 hours of rehearsal time per month
Spending $200 on my costume
Spending 2 hours on technical advice (e.g. a workshop, dance class)
Seeking some mentoring
Doing 3 dress rehearsals
If you set some key goals that are realistic you can meet these. And then you'll feel really good about getting to those goals.
All of these tips really help me in changing up my attitude when I'm feeling really shit about myself. They aren't rocket science. But it makes the fear conquerable. You do need to give yourself that 'tough love' in wanting to solve your problems - rather than wallowing in your problems. But you can totally get there.
Let me know if this helps! Or pop in the comments below if you have some other great tips about how you get your 'mojo' back.
In many ways I actually hate the term 'confidence'. Because really you can be a great performer and not always be that confident. But you must be resilient to lots of external obstacles that often are out of your control. Here is some tough, but practical advice to getting out of a funk or getting that mojo back.
Disclaimer: This is, of course, not a substitute for proper health advice. If you really are anxious, depressed or having more serious problems have a check in with your GP. There's also Beyond Blue and Black Dog in Australia that are really helpful.
Take some ownership of your behaviour. What are you willing to do to take ownership of your problems? Complaining that you don't feel confident isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to identify your issues and set some steps to solve them. This is said with a lot of love and recognition that this is hard. But you wouldn’t go the gym for a session and expect to lose 10 kilos. You can’t equally do one burlesque class and be instantly more confident. But if you can address each problem bit by bit you will get there.
Having a critical mindset is okay. Not being 100% confident all the time is important, because it stops you doing crazy risk taking behaviour. It's about managing the balance. Some self doubt is fine, It’s only when it consistently becomes a problem or stops you from doing things that you want to do.
Saying that you have doubts or lack confidence is a generic statement. If you want to solve your issue, you need to work out what specifically is scaring you. Is it a physical obstacle? About technical skill? Or is it worrying about what people think about you? Once you have figured that out you can solve it. You aren't getting yourself into a cycle of crazy scary thoughts. You are just saying, "I'm really scared about what someone will say about me". A reasonable fear to be sure. But by naming it up, you can then work on solving it.
It’s hard to accept stuff you don’t control. One of the things I hear constantly from new performers and students that stands in their way is a fear of what the audience will think about them. You have basically zero control over that. So it's pointless circling through that in your mind. Accepting the things that are outside of your control is the first step in building your confidence, and stopping that cycle of talking negative shit about yourself.
Remember that we wouldn't let our friends talk the same amount of smack that we talk about ourselves. It's not helping you to constantly talk shit about yourself. It's not getting you to the goal of being a better performer. It's normal, sure. But not helpful. Make a commitment to changing it up. You might need some strategies to address this. It could be a mindfulness app, proper counselling or therapy, or having a walk or chat with a friend. But commit to changing your cycle of negative self talk.
If you are worried about your abilities or your competence as a performer, you can totally solve that problem! But equally, if you haven't performed for a while or you are a newer performer, it's really unlikely you are going to be Dita Von Teese overnight. That's not a realistic expectation. So set yourself a standard that you can meet to be a good performer at the level you are at now. And then set some goals for how you are going to get there. This might be:
20 hours of rehearsal time per month
Spending $200 on my costume
Spending 2 hours on technical advice (e.g. a workshop, dance class)
Seeking some mentoring
Doing 3 dress rehearsals
If you set some key goals that are realistic you can meet these. And then you'll feel really good about getting to those goals.
All of these tips really help me in changing up my attitude when I'm feeling really shit about myself. They aren't rocket science. But it makes the fear conquerable. You do need to give yourself that 'tough love' in wanting to solve your problems - rather than wallowing in your problems. But you can totally get there.
Let me know if this helps! Or pop in the comments below if you have some other great tips about how you get your 'mojo' back.
Need some help getting your mojo back? Here are some ideas if you have lost the love of burlesque.
Enjoy that spotlight and the attention that being on stage generates. But make sure your definition of success is driven by yourself.
Sounds simple, right? But if you need some tips on building self -approval, please read on!
Read MoreBurlesque is an industry obsessed with sparkly and glittery. And it comes with a hefty price tag for that moment of absolute dazzle worthiness onstage.
I'm all for a big costume, prop and a lot of rhinestones. But this can definitely become a drain on the hip pocket. Which is fine if you're getting the big gigs to go with it. But that's not always possible.
This isn't a blog post on stopping buying swarovski's, rhinestones and appliques. I can't say that because I'm an example of really bad addiction. My advice centres on how you can be a bit more mindful in where you spend your money - and how to get some more bang for buck!
Read More7 reasons to get your booty to a burlesque class!
Read MoreA conversation with Shaan Valentine on burlesque, managing endometriosis and launching her blog.
Read MoreNeed to procrastinate. Check out some of my favourite burlesque films for to binge watch!
Read More
